Schizoscaleia
I have a disorder. It’s called schizoscaleia. Okay, I made that up, but it can be real! I have characterized this disorder by some of the following traits:
- delusions of weightlessness
- hallucinations of seeing goal number on the scale
- hallucinations of being a contestant on The Biggest Loser
- social isolation due to tight jeans
- extreme paranoia that every passerby is mentally weighing you because you have blasted your weight and weight loss goals all over the blogosphere
- strong urges to obsessively weigh yourself alternating with anxiety produced at the sight of the scale.
That is just to name a few.
So, because I am schizoscaleic, I have been back and forth all day trying to decide whether I should get on the scale. It’s been a full week of Hammer Time and I’ve been wondering if I should weigh myself to see if I’ve made progress this week. If I did it, I would be going against the initial rules that I set up for myself. Yet, I’ve had a good week and seeing the number on the scale (hopefully) come down might spur me on even more!
But, what if I didn’t like the number I saw? What if it wasn’t good enough? What if it wasn’t the loss I was expecting? What if I didn’t lose at all? What if…what if…what if???
This is the type of crazy scale trap that I did not want to fall back into. I’ve had the angel and devil on each shoulder all day. Each stating their case as to why I should or should not get on the scale. My decision?
You’ll have to wait to the end of this post! Muwahahaha!! 
****
Let’s talk food!
I hit the gym, bright and early, for 40 minutes on The Arc Trainer and 10 minutes of upper body circuit weights.
Breakfast was a Chocolate Cranberry Chia Muffin Top and a Fuji…
I’m really digging these…
and, of course, some java…
After breakfast, I ran an errand and limped around the house for a while trying to clean up. Man, my hammies are so sore from trampolining! Who knew it could be such a great workout?! Either that….or I’m just old 
No comment.
I was excited for my lunch today. I have a folder of recipes to try and I’ve been wanting to make this forever…
Black Bean Dip
(from The Biggest Loser Family Cookbook)
- 1 (15 oz.) can black beans, drained
- 1/4 cup chopped onion
- 1/4 cup chopped green bell pepper
- 1 clove fresh garlic, coarsely chopped
- 1 tbsp. lime juice, freshly squeezed
- 1 tbsp. lemon juice, freshly squeezed
- 1/2 tsp. chili powder
- 1/2 tsp. cumin
- 1/8 tsp. ground red pepper
- 1/4 tsp. ground black pepper
- 1/8 tsp. salt
- 1/3 cup diced fresh tomato
In the bowl of a large food processor fitted with a chopping blade, combine the black beans, onion, bell pepper, garlic, lime juice, lemon juice and spices. Pulse the ingredients until mixture is paste-like and creamy but still slightly chunky, scraping down the sides of the bowl if necessary. Transfer the dip to a small bowl and top with tomatoes. Serve immediately or refrigerate in plastic container for up to 3 days.
Makes 7 (1/4 cup) servings
Per serving: 42 calories, 3 grams protein, 10 grams carbohydrates, trace fat, 0 mg cholesterol, 3 grams fiber, 169 mg sodium.
A half cup serving is only 1 POINT! I’m all over it!
I used the dip as a spread and made Black Bean Bruschetta….
- 2 slices of Bakers Wheat Bran bread, toasted
- 1/2 cup Black Bean Dip
- 1/4 cup diced fresh tomato
- 1 oz. Cabot’s 75% reduced fat cheddar cheese, grated
So, so good! The dip had such a great, fresh flavor to it.
Paired with grapes for a sweet side…
Later in the afternoon, I fixed up a yogurt bowl for a snack. In the mix…
- 1/2 cup plain nonfat Chobani greek yogurt
- 1/8 tsp. NuStevia (from packet)
- 1/2 cup blueberries
- crumbled Pumpkin Oat Bran Muffin
Then, I got to chopping! I bought a bunch of fresh vegetables, so I chopped up zucchini, mushrooms, red onion, yellow pepper and japanese eggplant to roast up for dinner. I baked some tofu as well; combined them both, and called it dinner! Topped with diced tomato and grated parmesan, it was a delicious meal…
GTG – Day 8: Total – 22 POINTS
Okay, ready for the news????
NO WEIGH
I’m not doing it, yet. I decided that weighing in weekly is not healthy for me at this time. I had a really good week. I ate well. I exercised. I drank my water. I followed the Healthy Guidelines. I didn’t binge, overeat, feel deprived or feel as if I was on “a diet”. No, this is my lifestyle. This is the way I live. For good. So, to me, this week was a success and I don’t want the scale to tell me otherwise. I don’t want to live or be ruled by the scale. I have an unhealthy relationship with it and I have allowed the scale to dictate want kind of day I am having for far too long.
I won’t avoid it completely, though. It was instrumental in getting me back on track and steering me toward goal. But, it isn’t the end- all, be- all tool for me. I don’t feel that getting on it weekly will be a good indicator or necessarily reflect all of the positive changes that I have been making throughout the week. So, no weekly scale for me. I’m planning on either every 2 weeks or maybe even 3! I’ll keep you posted!
ONE GOOD THING: I’m finding help for my Schizoscaleia
Have a great day, everyone!!!
What are your feelings about the scale? Do you have a love/hate relationship? Do you weigh daily, weekly…never?
Questions? Email me! aloserforlife@gmail.com
31 comments
I have an unhealthy relationship with the scale. For me personally I go with my body fat percentage. I run 20-30 miles a week and eat healthy. The scale barely moves or worse yet I can a pound. But my measurements are shrinking and my body fat is going down. I find that a better reflection of my fitness an health. I decided on a monthly scale weigh in but I refuse to let it define me. you are doing an awesome job and your meals look so yummy!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Peacemonger mom, Loser For Life. Loser For Life said: Schizoscaleia http://goo.gl/fb/vxcL [...]
I love this! There is a time and a place for the scale…and this doesn’t sound like it’s one of those times. When I stopped obsessing about the scale and just did the work consistently my body changed…in a good way! You rock, girl!
Oh my ! The black bean dip looks absolutely yummy !!!!! I am thinking I am going to need an entire cabinet to stock nothing but pumpkin and black beans now. There are so many good things to do with them !
The scale- I consider it a nessisary evil. I have good weeks and often it shows no movement or worse, a gain. I makes me want to jump from a ledge…for a minute or two, but then I remind myself that my weight is only part of the reason I am doing this and that the factors I deal with would only be worse if I did nothing, so I keep on keeping on. The brat in me keeps saying to try something a little different the coming week so we can smack Mister Scale the next Saturday weigh in and say “Take That !!”
Hehe, I think I go through those small freakouts of what-will-the-number-be just about every Wednesday morning as I mentally walk through the week and think of how I’ve been eating and active. But for me I – for now – actually find comfort in the scale. I know its not all about that number and since I want to build muscle as well as lose fat it’s going to do weird things over the course of this journey, but for now, I need to see that number drop from week to week.
And when I’m “bad” or simply don’t live healthfully, I tend to avoid the scale lest I feel even more shame; but that avoidance turns into a long-term thing and I end up abandoning my journey altogether. So the scale gives me a little rigidity, a little structure that my journey can flourish within. It’s also better to actually know bad results than fear the potential of it. So on Wednesdays, I weigh.
Incidentally, I don’t just go for weight. My scale also calculates my body fat percentage, which is a different, some say better, thing to track. So I track both.
I am so so proud of you!!! I have had that same mental battle plenty of times and now I NEVER weigh myself and am so much happier for it. I understand wanting to do so on a semi-regular basis to track your goals, but that is great you aren’t letting it control you. A big step in the right direction!
so there IS a name for that! thank you for classifying it
i am a serious scale addict – i will weigh in twice a day, but am trying my darnest to weight in only once a day !!
Marisa, you are a rock star! I love your decisiveness and your food looks awesome, as usual.
I’m beginning to think I may need to take your approach to the scale…
I think most of us have had schizoscaleia at one time or another. It can switch my mood in an instant. I weigh on Tues. and Fri. and track the difference,usually, otherwise I would have to break my scale. If I don’t then that’s when the weight creeps up and I have decided not to let it go up again, staying the same is OK but not up.
Glad you are getting a handle on your schizoscaleia!
I weigh myself about twice per month to keep “an eye on things.” I have found that more isn’t really good for me. I also take note of how my pants fit (which is a better way for me to keep track)… I once gained a LOT of weight by “losing” my scale in a corner of the garage, and I really don’t want that to happen again… (I also started wearing elastic waistband pants at the time….)
So the scale is necessary in my life, but I beat myself up over the number on the scale way too many times, so I had to manage our relationship very carefully (and make sure it wouldn’t become dysfunctional again)…
So if you haven’t noticed by now, I am managing my own case of schizoscaleia… 
And today the scale and I are co-existing just fine… 
I add black beans to my food processor with some spices to make my tostada topping – love it! Filling and low point!
I WI once a week with at my WW meeting- but we have a scale here at home. I peek at it on occasion-but I would prefer not to. Sorta becomes an obsession. Then I would have to make up some word to seek help from., maybe even need medications. lol
You are doing SO great! What a great week you are having- OP but NOT on a diet!
LOVE IT!
That black bean dip sounds fantastic!
I weight myself without fail on the first of every month. Sometimes I will weigh myself in between but I only track it 1x/month. It lets me know where I stand & if I need to watch my dessert intake or cut back on the almond butter.
Weighing yourself will totally depend on your relationship with the number that it shows. I’m glad you decided to not weigh, since you weren’t ready. We all let the scale have too much power over us. The scale doesn’t care if you get on it after a month of eating nothing but celery and water. It also doesn’t care if you jump on holding a sack of potatoes. It just spits out a number relative to the split instant in time. It means nothing in the grand scheme of things and you hold every key to change what that value is.
The scale number is a linear number, and you are a 3-D person
I actually weigh almost daily, but more out of habit. Most times I don’t let the number influence me (good or bad). Sometimes it does, but it doesn’t define me.
Marisa, the bean dip looks awesome! I’ve printed it out and CAN’T WAIT to try it!
You’re right. You have had super week and I give you major credit for deciding NOT to get on the scale. I have a scale addiction.
I currently only weigh in once a week at my WW meeting location. Reason being, I started developing an unhealthy habit of stepping on it daily (maybe even 2x a day!). When the batteries died on the scale, I never got new ones. Therefore, I can only weigh in at my meeting location!!
Wow…I was just stressing out about this very issue this morning! I used to attend weekly WW meetings, but the last 3 WI’s really made me an emotional wreck. I’ve worked so hard and the scale never does what I think it should do. I’m still debating on when to weigh in and think that twice a month sounds good. Just enough to let me know how I’m doing and not so much that I’m constantly in an emotional frenzy. I really should start doing measurements though!
I had to laugh at this post – you and I have the same disease – how weird is that??!
Love the bean dip – the only thing I would add is fresh cilantro – that’s probably my favorite herb.
I am back to once a month weigh-ins – too much fluctuation from day to day!
I am a dyed in the wool weekly weigher. I have to be. Anytime I have given up the scale for any length of time I gain. Like what happened in the fall. Do I love getting on the scale? Hell no! It totally dictates my mood. But unfortunatly for this girl at this point in time, it’s a necessary evil.
I have to agree with Tamara although I am giving up my daily weigh-ins and going to just weekly
The dip looks SO good! I might have to try that sometime! Oh and I have a folder of recipes I need/want to try as well!! It’s always growing too!!
Right now I weigh everyday. I don’t always do that. But I don’t let it dictate how my day goes. If it’s a loss then I motivated to have an even bigger loss next time and if it’s a gain then I will be even more motivated to lose it!! But once I get closer to my goal I think I will just weigh once a week!
I say good on you…BECAUSE…it was what was best for you.
Keep up the great work. You’re hammering away and that’s really all that matters.
You are so funny. I scanned all the way to the end of the post to find out if you weighed then went back and read the rest. Isn’t that something like reding the last page in a mystery novel? I couldn’t help myself! LOL
I think I have an unhealthy relationship with the scale when I get on and see a number that I don’t like and it puts me in a bad mood or discourages me. Lately, it has been moving in the right direction so I’m on good terms with the scale. LOL
That being said, I had made a deal with myself that I wouldn’t weigh until the end of my BootCamp but I couldn’t resist one morning as I walked past it. I swear it called my name so sweetly. So I stepped on and was pleasantly surprised!
Those scales! I’m thinking of organizing a big scale burning in my area. All of the people on their journey to health who hate their scales will bring them and toss them into a big bonfire. We’ll dance around it and burn calories and give the scale the finger or something. LOL And bring a healthy snack to share for the potluck.
I think many of us suffer from that disorder! If I am eating well and my clothes are fitting good I will get on the scale. If I have been straying and the jeans are tight I will most likely avoid the scale until my clothes start fitting better.
I don’t like the scale but having said that, I would never get rid of it either!
I can’t wait to try that bean dip.
Yay for you for NOT hopping on the scale! I am such a sucker. I say I will only get on the scale ONCE a week and ALWAYS it’s more than once. I wish I could make myself only weigh once a month, but that’s NOT happening! The black bean dip sounds great! I really like that cookbook! LOTS of recipes that are banging!
That was a good one! I weigh a couple times a week. That food looks like it came from an upscale restaurant. Make your healthy lifestyle pay http://beachbodycoach.com/kendrick3900
lovelove the recipes you post, they are ALWAYS my favorite….keep em comin
i have a scale but i only weigh when my clothes are getting loose/tight. just to see what’s up.
[...] Marisa I really enjoyed reading all your responses to my last post with respect to weighing in on the scale! I so admire those of you who do not have scale [...]
[...] I have a confession. As Marissa defined it yesterday I have, schizoscaleia. I weigh myself everyday. I have very defined times when I can weigh [...]
Black bean dip looks fantastic!
Yep, I weigh myself often, it will make or break my day, totally horrible for my self-esteem.
The scale is such a nemesis. I’ve finally gotten to a place where it won’t ruin my day. I feel good about that place.