Diets Don’t Work!
Happy Wednesday! I have an interesting guest post today from my friend, Mish at Eating Journey ! She has been (and is continuing on) a fantastic journey of self-discovery and was willing to share her thoughts about dieting and intuitive eating…
I am so happy to be writing a guest post for Marisa. I LOVE her story, her commitment and ability to be real with her story of weight loss. I too have lost over 100lbs and having recently taken on board a not-so-great way to coping with life by binge eating.
However, I can say that I am over the binger now. Although, it will be something that I will have to deal with throughout my life, due to being someone who had tossed, toyed-with, signed up for and been on numerous diets.
I am here to say DIETS DON’T WORK! They simply don’t. Sorry Marisa, I know that you’re on WW. However, I will tell you that moment that I strip myself down and back to going back to ‘what I know works’…I know it’s because I am not listening to my body.
You may or may not be on a diet, but I have been on and off of WW for eight years. My bingeing in 2009 was intensified by the cycles which I am going to outline below.
The Damaging Diet Cycle
How many times have you been there? How many times have you gone through this cycle to gain and lose the same 20lbs (or more)?
The most important thing, which I think leads to people falling into this damaging cycle is GUILT. I have written about it before, but diets are rules. They are hard-fast ‘must do’s and ‘must don’ts’ which feed into people’s levels of guilt if they are not perfect.
Mental Games of Dieting
You become a pawn for the diet. I did. I was SO consumed with how many points/calories were in certain foods. I lived off of CRAP for so long. Sugar free/low-fat/aspartame injected CRAP. We are not meant to live off of that type of food..but how can you see past it when you’re stuck in the mental game of dieting?
I just need to get my mind back into it, and then I’ll find success!—ever said that to yourself, your partner, your friends?
What I have realized, and just recently as such, is that dieting really isn’t the sole identifier of someone’s worth—YET WE MAKE IT THIS WHEN WE’RE DIETING. It’s how we give ourselves praise and more importantly…how we take ourselves down.
We must stop this. We must come back to listening to your bodies. Feeding it well, stopping when you’re satisfied and reaping the benefits of identifying yourself outside of calories/points/sf-ff jello.
Intuitive Eating
Let me be the first to say it’s SCARY to give up dieting.
What if I can’t do it?
I can’t trust myself to eat and listen to my body.
There’s no way I’ll lose any weight.
If I stop dieting then I’ll gain all the weight back.
I know that if I’m not counting, then I’ll just eat whatever I want.
Ever think those things? Ever think: How do people do that? How can some people just stop eating when they’re full?
This is a section of my life that I am still working on..it’s not easy..but mainly it’s not easy because the ‘dieting cycle and mental games’ come up and tell me that I can’t do it.
Here are some tips that have helped me kick the dieting drug:
- Identify emotions
- Stressed, tired, exhausted, arguing, feeling you can’t do it all?
- Hungry?
- Turn off your emotions
- Touch your stomach and ask ‘are you honestly PHYSICALLY hungry?’
- Be honest : Nope, I am stressed and want chocolate.
- Feed Properly
- Emotions: 10 minutes of a walk, shower, phone a friend, personal first aid kit, a hug, a cuddle session
, yoga, bible reading, do the dishes. - Physical hunger: SIT DOWN and eat a simple snack, tea, coffee can increase levels of anxiety so be careful.
- Emotions: 10 minutes of a walk, shower, phone a friend, personal first aid kit, a hug, a cuddle session
- Listen to body
- Sleep, 10 minutes of movement, rest, get some lovin’, get a face mask on.
- Potential Slip up
- Still struggling to silence the inner voice ‘you need chocolate, you really are hungry!’
- THAT’S OK!
- Release of Guilt
- I really didn’t need ½ a bar of chocolate, but ¼ of a bar would have been ok.
- I didn’t get exercise in today, but I am going to bed early tonight so I can tomorrow.
- I over-ate, but I stopped before I binged.
- Forgiveness
- I am not perfect, but I am getting there.
- I am so happy that I am able to get out of the diet cycle.
- I worked out 2 times this week, that’s more than nothing.
- I only have one bowl of ice cream and I actually enjoyed it. I will not beat myself up for that.
- Intuitive Eating
- This is not only about listening to your physical hunger, but it’s also about listening to your emotions.
What I have learned is the Dieting starves us of this cycle. Raise your hand if you want to be counting points until the day that you die? Any takers?
Then kick it, like a bad habit. Get in touch with your body, your emotions and be patient. It’s the most amazing experience of your life when a potentially ‘diet situation’ is trumped by listening, REALLY, listening to your body.
Thoughts?
Questions? Email me! aloserforlife@gmail.com
27 comments
Brilliant post!
As a Registered Dietitian specializing in weight management/wellness for the past 10 years, I SO strongly believe exactly what you are saying. I am the “anti-diet” dietitian. Thank you so much for stharing your story of turning to Intuitive Eating.
Congratulations on your success through this journey!
Though I agree with you in generally, I have to have some rules. If I had the mindset and willpower to control my eating throughout emotional cycles, I wouldn’t have weight problems in the first place. Without some guidance on how to make the best choices, I fall down. For me, Weight Watchers is what works best because the rules are much more flexible. I can pretty much eat what I want, as long as I stick to serving sizes. I don’t eat when I am not hungry, but if I am having an emotional day and I “need” a cookie, I can work it into my healthy habits in a way that doesn’t undo all of my hard work. Without the rules and points, I’d eat too many cookies and I wouldn’t exercise. WW helps me find the motivation to exercise because it earns me more points. I wish I could work with Intuitive Eating, and I have often thought that it will be the right choice for me once I reach my goal weight, but until then I need more structure. Again, if I could trust myself to make the right choices, I wouldn’t be 70 pounds overweight.
[...] Diets Don’t Work is my guest post at Loser for Life — check it out…then come back. Second: NOT for my [...]
@Heather — I think it’s SO important to find what works for you. WW used to have a CORE program..whereby people actually listened to their bodies and didn’t count points..unless it wasn’t CORE. They got rid of it..for profit reasons. I wish they still had it.
Great post but for me WW is not a diet. I’ve lost 105lbs on the program and I dont feel deprived. After 2 years I have learned the correct way to eat. I dont fall into the ‘diet’ food trap. WW has a simply filling technique now which is similar to the core program.
While I agree that restrictive diets don’t work, I, too, am on WW, and I find that it IS helping me to listen to my body and emotions in relation to my eating habits. And I don’t ever feel guilty about a “slip-up” anymore. I feel that, if you’re really successful on a program like WW, then you eventually don’t NEED to count points for the rest of your life because you know what will satisfy your body and you know how to make good choices.
@amanda @alexandra… first of all congrats on your amazing weight losses. WW is the reason that I am at 100lbs less than I am right now. I think it had good and bad things…as anything. I strive, amanda, to be able to write what you wrote. Congrats!
great post, michelle! i am working on the intuitive eating after being a compulsive overeater for 30+ years. i must say, that it is somewhat empowering to be listening to my body’s cues of when i’m hungry and full. in fact, i find that i’m eating less! i do, however, still count calories, but hey, one baby step at a time, right?
Mish,
You have learned so much about yourself so far in this new journey that you are taking! Thank you so much for sharing what you’ve learned and what you are putting into practice for yourself! I think it’s an exciting and empowering way to be able to live and I hope…no, I know…that one day, I’ll get myself there, too! As, love2eatinpa says…baby steps!
I think it’s important to recognize that you’ve realized that diets don’t work… for you.
There are many people who have had success with Weight Watchers (or other weight loss plans, or “diets”), maintained their weight loss, and may or may not have been able to ‘relearn’ healthy and intuitive eating.
one more thing after reading the comments above- the CORE program is still a part of Weight Watchers, it’s just called Simply Filling Technique now
I love this post. Forgiving myself has been a big issue in the past. I was definitely an all or nothing kind of girl. I’m learning now to forgive the little slip ups and just move on, one bad day doesn’t mean they are all bad days! Something is always better than nothing!
Thanks Mish! This was a great post- very informative! Full of great tips!
Oh and Marisa- 3 days of having that Hershey’s chocolate in the house and not ONE bag, bar, or box is opened! Hows that for a NSV! lol I sniff it as I walk by. lol
Excellent post Michelle! Thanks Marisa for having her share her insights – she is very wise. And correct – diets per se don’t work, it’s all about changing our lives to reflect new healthier habits.
I found the post interesting and agreed with most of it. However, like some of the commenters above, I am using WW and really don’t feel like it’s a diet. I have been a member for the last year and have lost 24 lbs – but I have had months without going inbetween. I have sometimes felt guilty about overindulgences, but nothing that I didn’t get over pretty quick. Unless you’re some kind of saint, everyone overindulges at times. I feel like I am much more in control and aware of what and how much I eat now. It’s great.
Totally agree. If we would stop and think for a moment , we would realize that we are given an appetite and sensory organs for a reason- to supply our bodies with what we need. Diets in all forms simply displace us further from our natural instincts. Add this to a lot of culturally based perceptions, and there you have the root of the obesity problem. We become hungry because we need fuel- real fuel. Not something chemically altered to appear to be food, portioned in an unrealistic sized package. Keeping a running total of the food-oid is nothing more than a math game with a masochistic bent.
I agree: diets don’t work. Lifestyle changes work. If WW causes you to change your lifestyel, it works. If counting calories for a while causes you to change your lifestyle, it works.
Right now I’m counting calories because it’s the tool to get me to my goal. Along the way I am learning about portion control, clean eating, how many times to eat, etc. It’s a learning process. A diet is just “follow these rules” type of thing that’s temporary. I’m making this permanent but right now I’m thinking of it as being in school. Kids in school practice writing by copying over dotted lines and concentrating very hard on the shpaes of letters. Eventually they don’t need to do that. They’ll know how to write because they’ve practiced it so much. The same is true with WW or counting calories: you concentrate very hard to learn how to eat properly then eventually it’s intuitive.
Really interesting and thoughtful post. I think that the progress I have made in this dieting/weight loss journey is that one of my goals is to get to a place where I can start to really trust my instincts and eat intuitively. I am not there yet but I will get there. And I am pleased beyond measure that this IS one of my goals. My goal used to be, exclusively “GET TO GOAL WEIGHT, BE SKINNY. ONLY SKINNY = HAPPY” I’m so far beyond that now I feel like I’ve already accomplished a lot.
Well written!
PS Marisa: I made the chickpea salad for a potluck. I’m sad though because it’s so good I just want to eat the whole thing myself!
Thank you for the guest post. I really enjoyed reading it. I definitely agree on the jist of the post, I will disagree to an extent with the WW points thing. I eat as I want to eat for the rest of my life. Right now, to monitor myself, I count points. I don’t deprive myself, I try not to give myself guilt if I slip-up, but I like counting points to stay on track.
I also try to give myself praise when I do other things (non-food related). Such as, I normally work out at night but things have been hectic for me lately. This morning I got up an hour early to workout and eat a good breakfast. This is totally not like me but wanted to get my exercise in and thought, I’ll try this. And good job for me for not going right back to bed (which I usually do)!
So I do agree with your post. You need to get out of the diet mentality. But for me, following ww is NOT a diet. I’m just monitoring my eating. If I’m hungry, I eat, regardless of how many points I have left.
But great great post. Thanks for taking the time to write for all of us!
This is a great post! I”m definitely going to keep this around for the day when I feel strong enough to not count calories – what a great guide and the charts couldn’t be more spot on!
PSS on the Chickpea Salad:
All gone. Bowl practically licked. And not by me!
Wow, you sure got a response from your guest post, Marisa. I have to agree that “diets don’t work”, and I AM A WEIGHT WATCHER, and I HAVE LOST 72 POUNDS, AM AT GOAL and I HAVE MAINTAINED since June. My take on this is exactly what I have learned from Weight Watchers. For me, this IS NOT a diet. It’s the way I choose to live the rest of my life, and if counting points and weighing my food and exercising in order to be able to increase my daily points works for me, that’s what I want to do. That’s a choice, not a diet. I want to maintain a healthy weight for the rest of my life. I want to feel this great for as long as I can. I feel more in control of my eating habits now than I EVER have.
It took me a long time to figure it all out. A lot of what your guest post describes about learning to deal with your emotions and the reason you’re eating and listening to your body’s signs telling you if you’re hungry, they’re all issues that we talk about every week at Weight Watchers. We’re also know as Weight Watchers members that that we can make our own choices, what we want to eat, when we want to eat, and to be accountable for them. To me, that’s not a diet. That’s a way to live my life.
Great post on diets. I believe diets do not work too. I stick to listening to my body and eatin healthy foods. I’m glad to be diet free and to have stopped damaging my body with fad diets.
Your post hit the nail on the head for me. After50 years of being guilted into losing weight and then gaining it back….I am finally doing it on my own terms. I’m not a “group” person so WW didn’t work for me….this time I just cut back….on everything. Eat well, but eat less….and exercise…of some form or other. Less stress and more concentration on me, myself and I and how we work.
I do plan on counting points for the rest of my life, or at least for the next ten years or so. I’ve hit my goal, losing 29 pounds, and I am really proud of myself. WW helped me learn the tools (and to be aware of portion sizes, etc) to hit my goal. But I agree with you, if you change your eating to include a bunch of crap you aren’t going to eat long-term, then it’s not worth it. I think this is a bigger problem in the US then it is in Canada. At least at my grocery stores, there aren’t lots of low-fat breads and cheeses. You buy the regular stuff and use less, count the points, and move on. It’s working for me.
[...] Marisa Wow, don’t ya love a good thought-provoking guest post?! Thanks to Mish for bringing out such good points about dieting and the journey into an [...]
Diets got me nothing but fatter. I’m not down with WW either, though I can see how it could potentially help many. Not me, though, likely because I was a binger, ED. Your diagrams are so true. I think a major key step to stop bingeing was to not allow myself to feel guilty about a “slip-up”. That took a lot of the reason to do it away, strange as it sounds. It lost its driving force, and from there, eventually, I learned to listen to my body. I can’t even imagine feeling guilty for eating chocolate now. But chocolate now is a truffle almond or two, or similar, not half a cake or a pint of ice cream. I count nothing, weigh nothing, lost 50 pounds this way, am not even overweight by BMI right now.